Saturday, October 30, 2010

Faith & a diversion

It's really hard to keep going in the face of what's happening but go I must. If not I will find myself in the fetal position sucking my thumb and waiting for the earth to stop spinning.
There are no good things to report regarding Roger. He is being kept comfortable and I visit him most mornings early. It's the best time to find a parking space and not fight traffic and it seems to be a great time to find a nurse and even some Drs. to talk with. They really are doing all they can and I can't spend each day crying so I must keep moving. I'm trying not to let fear immobilize me. It's a battle I win some days and some days it's bigger then me.
Again, thanks to all of you for your prayers. Roger needs them now. I've often heard more religious people refer to the phrase, "Give it up to God" That's where we are now. This morning I was looking in a desk where Roger kept his rosary from many years ago. There was a prayer book and some other things and now I can't find them. I'll keep looking. I don't know why but I feel I must find them. Sounds irrational coming from me but I have discovered a vein of faith I never knew I had and it seems like there are forces challenging all that I have come to be at peace with. I feel that I must find these things like something inside me is making me frantic to discover where they are. Crazy emotions.....
For a small, and colorful quilty diversion I would point you in the direction of Amy's blog for the bi-annual Quilt Festival. Doesn't cost a thing to see hundreds of beautiful quilts on as many blogs. I entered twice before and can tell you it was fun getting sweet comments from people I never heard from before. Don't have anything to show for myself this time around but I can recommend the Festival for a great pastime. Hope you get a a chance to stop by and see the amazing amount of quilts. Scroll down a little it's a BIG deal.
Talk to you soon.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Moving along...

Thanks for the beautiful messages I received from various people. Your kindness is a gift beyond measure.
I have been to see Roger now that he is back at Huntington in the ICU. He is intubated and in a light sleep. Today, they are going to do a CAT-scan and various other tests to see where he stands. I mentioned in an e-mail to a friend that when I hold his hand it seems that he is becoming smaller and farther away. That's how it feels. If they can turn this one around it really will qualify as a miracle to me.
I'm throwing myself into several projects that have languished over the last months. Things that need attention but I just keep walking past them unable to concentrate. It feels good to get lost in a project right now. Keeps me from thinking about what may come. I spent the weekend returning calls and replying to e-mails from very good friends and family. By last evening I felt all in. Last week the newlyweds picked me up and took me to their house for dinner. It was so nice to see them so happy and to be out of the routine. They are headed out to St. Thomas for their honeymoon. I think James & Dani worried about going with his Dad in this shape but we have told them to go on and enjoy their time together. St. Thomas is not so far away and they deserve a honeymoon. This was the only time they could both get off.
I'm off to do some errands and stop in to see Roger. Talk to you soon.