Thursday, February 17, 2011


The lack of posts coming from me are due to a couple of things. One of them is a rare few days in February. It's 61 degrees today. Wow is that a welcome thing. The heat's off and the windows are open for a little while. Out with the winter mustiness and in with the fresh air. I know this is just a small blip in the winter weather that is still to come but boy am I going to breathe it in. It's yummy!
I have all but finished giving away Roger's clothes to various clothing drives and while there are still some items like jackets and suits and shoes, for the most part, that's a done deal. There's another clothing drive on the 22nd. It's a tough job but it has a freeing effect to it in that I have a whole chest of drawers that I can spread out my stuff into. Not the way I wanted to have more room but there it is..
BIL Bob is away on his cruise to Cozumel and hopefully enjoying himself. I'm doing a lot better being alone than I thought I would. In all honesty, my friends and family are filling in really well. Dinner with the newlyweds and Lucy, Tonight, shopping and dinner with Terry. Movies and dinner Saturday with the newlyweds and Monday next week dinner with my good friend Jeri. I may never cook again!!
In the meantime, I am taking the opportunity to do a little spring cleaning and read my Kindle. I have several books loaded on and am currently reading one by a favorite writer of mine. It's "My Reading Life" by Pat Conroy. It's a good read by a wonderful writer. Sort of a literary autobiography of his life. I have "A Widows Story" by Joyce Carol Oates that I have scanned the first pages of and it looks good but since I'm in a tenuous place right this minute, I'll save that for another day. It may be a little too real right this moment. Some of the days are good but some of the nights are not so good. There are moments I now refer to as DUH moments. Things that are real but haven't hit your brain in a permanent way.... until they do. Things that make you shake your head and wonder if your losing your mind. Things like looking at pictures of Roger smiling and knowing that you will never see that face in person again or hear that laugh. The scent of a sweater or that pillow that you can't part with-things that just make your heart ache. Right after Roger died the answering machine had a glitsch and the message was lost. I thought I would go crazy at the loss of his voice on that silly message. Sometimes I wonder if we're better off not loving. It has to be less painful than this is...sometimes...but then I see that picture of him in Alaska holding that enormous salmon with the biggest smile on his face and I realize how blessed I was to have had it for the time I did.
Anyway, back to the cleaning and a shower before Terry picks me up. She really makes me laugh so much that it's just what I need right now.
Talk to you soon.