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It's really hard to keep going in the face of what's happening but go I must. If not I will find myself in the fetal position sucking my thumb and waiting for the earth to stop spinning.
There are no good things to report regarding Roger. He is being kept comfortable and I visit him most mornings early. It's the best time to find a parking space and not fight traffic and it seems to be a great time to find a nurse and even some Drs. to talk with. They really are doing all they can and I can't spend each day crying so I must keep moving. I'm trying not to let fear immobilize me. It's a battle I win some days and some days it's bigger then me.
Again, thanks to all of you for your prayers. Roger needs them now. I've often heard more religious people refer to the phrase, "Give it up to God" That's where we are now. This morning I was looking in a desk where Roger kept his rosary from many years ago. There was a prayer book and some other things and now I can't find them. I'll keep looking. I don't know why but I feel I must find them. Sounds irrational coming from me but I have discovered a vein of faith I never knew I had and it seems like there are forces challenging all that I have come to be at peace with. I feel that I must find these things like something inside me is making me frantic to discover where they are. Crazy emotions.....
Anyway....
For a small, and colorful quilty diversion I would point you in the direction of Amy's blog for the bi-annual Quilt Festival. Doesn't cost a thing to see hundreds of beautiful quilts on as many blogs. I entered twice before and can tell you it was fun getting sweet comments from people I never heard from before. Don't have anything to show for myself this time around but I can recommend the Festival for a great pastime. Hope you get a a chance to stop by and see the amazing amount of quilts. Scroll down a little it's a BIG deal.
Talk to you soon.
12 comments:
Keeping busy helps a little bit. I hope you find the rosary and prayer book and can set your mind at ease over them. My thoughts are with you and Roger each day.
May Roger be comfortable, and Dee, Consider this a giant hug from Me....
I so wish I could come and hang out and help you process all of this - cook you some good food - take you on a long walk. These are things you can do for yourself - since I can't be there.
XXOO
Each and every time I go back to Alaska to help my family, I bring two antique rosaries with me that belonged to my mother and grandmother.
They have holy water inside of them and lots and lots of metal and are in beautiful little metal mesh bags. Without fail, they set off every alarm in all of the machines and I have to start immediately praying that they find the rosaries before I am strip searched in public. It's funny how our true spiritual nature comes out when we need it most and we have an innate need for some kind of connection with that part of ourselves.
You are living at the edge, Dee...and it's at the edge where we discover the truth about ourselves and the illusions of this world, in all ways. You are walking along that edge and you are not falling off.
Roger is proud of you and I am, too.
What can you do? Take life as it comes, I guess. Take care.
Sounds like you are doing just as you should. I keep you and Roger close to my heart every day *s*
You and Roger are in my thoughts and prayers. Even now, your eloquence astounds me.
Oh my, there are no words in me to help you. This is such an excruciating walk. I will pray you and Roger for peace at this tough tough time. You are so frequently on my mind.
Blessings,
Cathy B
I second what Judy says. You are so clear about what you're feeling. That's a gift in any circumstances.
My continued prayers go out to you and Roger. Keep mining that vein of faith. It will comfort you.
Sometimes when faced with such devastating situations we do some of the most [seemingly] bizarre things. I can remember looking in the mirror and not recognizing myself. Unfortunately we can't take a time out and forget reality for a while. So keep that faith-thing going and keep on keeping on, even though it seems surreal. I am thinking of you and Roger and sending prayers.
A special wish to you and all your family - that the love that you share will help you through this difficult time. Hang in there! Del
I am so ashamed I have been so caught up in my silliness that I haven't been over to see what is happening with you.
You and Roger are in my prayers! I will have mom's prayer group get to work too! What can WE do to help you?
We are with you in spirit! You are such a gifted writer, write it all down. xoxoxoxoxo! Kim
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