7 random things

1. Despite the fact that I talk to you all on a regular basis, I'm sort of a loner and a hermit. I think it must be difficult to be friends with me. Terry says it's not but she's about my best and only true friend. I know a bunch of people associated with the Food Pantry and members of church groups etc.and folks here and there but none of those people really know me and I don't think I make it easy if they were so inclined. I must come across as a cold and distant person but I'm anything but- it's really just that I don't do the chit-chat stuff well. Even at Curves I noticed all the women are chatting along and I listen but it's rare that I add anything. Getting kicked around a lot when you are young tends to make Dee a painfully quiet and deeply shy person(stop laughing back there). It also makes me a great listener. You could talk and talk and talk and I'd be fine with that. When I do make a friend I am stupidly devoted. That tends to leave me disappointed in humanity a lot. Over the years I've found a way to force myself to be direct and forward and in the process fooled a lot of people into thinking I'm a very with-it kinda gal. Really, I'm still that little girl inside.

2. When I worked for a physician years ago, he had hired another woman to be an assistant at the same time. She loved to do secretarial work and I loved the Dr. stuff. When he was training her to be a surgical assistant she slid down the wall and had to be helped out of surgery from the sight of blood in a very minor procedure. I loved it and only had to restrain myself from verbally expressing my fascination with all things surgical. Like this- "wow would you look at that!" Dr. Zimmerman thought it was funny but told me I had to get a grip on my enthusiasm. He did train me to handle the surgical stuff and looking back on it-why not. I was smart and young and he didn't have to pay me anything. I was in heaven just observing. It was the best and most interesting job I ever had. Unfortunately, he had no medical insurance and paid next to nothing. I was single and young and poor-did I mention young? It was still always exciting and always great fun.When he went on vacation I would borrow his medical texts. How boring can you get huh?

3. I know stuff. Not sure if that makes sense but I have a gift for language and history and stuff that puts most people to sleep. I think it began as something that helped me survive my past. I would lock onto a subject and there were not enough books on the subject to suit me. Obscure things-like studying religions.I will hunt down everything I can find on specific subjects and useless details. It was bad enough before the Internet-now it's just a black hole into which I can easily fall. My friend Terry uses me as a party trick. We will be in a group of people and she will constantly say, "Hey-ask Dee about????" Like someone will do to the guy who can recite all the Presidents backward. Who knew I'd be a living party game and I'm hell at Jeopardy.

4. I was born in Germany. In an ancient medieval town-Augsburg. I came here when I was 3ish and so have no trace of that language even though we spoke it at home for years.

5. Fear of failing has influenced me to a horrible degree. I think it's all part and parcel of the agoraphobia and hermit thing. Part of me is afraid to get started and part is afraid of failure-deadly combination. Just going to the gym everyday is a concerted effort. Not hard, just something I think about for more than a passing moment. I am proud of myself for making it thus far. If I could only apply that to art...hmmmm. Those that can't do-teach?? I'm great at teaching people how do make stuff.

6 I worked a job from the time I was 12 until I had James. My family was in the restaurant business with loads of connections-I was a bus-girl for years-coat check for some time and waitress briefly. Spent a lot of time growing up in kitchens with crazy cooks and crazier waiters and learned a lot of Spanish from busboys(some Italian too)

7. I was a teenager in the late 50s early 60s and the town we live in was so small that I learned to drive at about 12. I can remember driving through the village at that age. My family knew all the cops and I'm not sure if they just turned a blind eye or what but at that point the car was my escape. The family members used to send me out on all kinds of errands-it was fun and my escape.

O.k. that's 7 . and I hate to tag people so tag yourself if you haven't done it already.

I'm in the throws of an awful sinus and allergy thing and I'm going to take something for the headache and put my feet up for a while. Such a beautiful time of year to feel so crummy-snort.