Alone too long

Since I am all alone...snif, left to my own devices(that'll teach 'im) I decided to let the imagination wander and thought a lot about who I would like to invite to dinner. The answer came to me in a moment of hungry clarity. Gordon Ramsay. I found out that Sting was busy with some chanting and praying stuff and while flipping the channel during commercials(thanks Roger)I came upon Gordon in Kitchen Nightmares. I absolutely love Gordon Ramsey. I love his concept of what a restaurant should be, his work ethic, his "body as temple" think, and...well, he's just Darn adorable. I plotz when he takes a fork-full of someones awful cooking and says "f--- me, did this come from the waste bin?" Now I know that it's not necessary to use such language, but in this case it really makes me laugh. Soooooo...here's the reason I would like Gordon to come to dinner. He would find my food and my kitchen in a dreadful state and immediately fire me. Some people might be offended but I would love to be fired and I'd tell him what a brilliant move it was. Next he would replace all of my ancient appliances and doodads with shiny new up-to-date serious equipment. Then I could alternately admire my new kitchen(surely Roger would re-hire me later) and Gordon. Maybe he would teach me a bunch of cool things to make in order to redeem myself. Maybe he wouldn't spit my food into the bin. Maybe he would just let me stare at him while he cooked. Any way you figure it-I win.

As the dinner guests for my first Gordon Ramsay educated meal, I would invite John Cleese and Michael Palin-two of my favorite Monty Python members. Doing this ensures laughter and silly walks and dead parrots but opens up the possibility for other frightening occurrences... because........

NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION