Saturday, October 01, 2011

what I did on my summer vacation and then some.

For a slightly computer challenged person like me, blogging, it turns out is something you should really keep at. "From not doing you must re-learn all that you have un-learned"....Yoda.

That's not such a bad thing. Life is always an interesting and sometimes fascinating lesson. I believe that I have had enough lessons for a while. We are never to old to learn but frankly right now I'm caught up for a bit.

Life around here these past months has been a journey to find... me. I found that I am one of those women who focused on doing a good job as mother and wife and when both those things were taken away from my daily life I became the proverbial basket case. In our daily lives we sometimes say to ourselves as artists or workers in cloth, "when will it be my turn". That is not to diminish the experiences of motherhood and wifery. They are years I would not have changed or given up for any reason. Now and then the universe throws you a curve ball though and the choice becomes not your own but some universal crankypants attack. Everything you know to be good and right suddenly stops like one of those freaky roller coasters and you have mental whiplash. In the last couple of weeks I have begun to feel something familiar within returning. The desire to create and the burning desire to feel something that resembles normal again. I know that things will never be the same without Roger but I have come out of this phase of uselessly begging the universe to make it all right and give me back what I lost. Things will simply be different. How they are different is now my choice to make.

Perhaps dealing with getting some etching done on Roger's headstone was a trigger and perhaps taking o a new position of more responsibility at the Food Pantry have contributed to a somewhat new outlook.

Above, you will see two of the reasons I have for getting up each day. My wonderful, smart, Daughter-in-law Dani and, of course, the amazing Miss Lucy Goose. Dani is back in school studying for her CPA and has a very long day on Thurs. I get to watch Lucy until James gets off work and then we have dinner together. By Thursday night I am wiped out and happy. Lucy makes me laugh so much. She's the definition of wild thing but so much fun to play with. Besides, the exersize is good for me. I have done way too much eating for comfort these past months.

My hairdresser Diane is having a baby in December and the quilt above is for her baby. I have begun to straight line quilt with the walking foot. It's easy stuff but in order to keep it neat you really must pay close attention and go slowly. Hope to be finished soon.

To all of my friends who took the time to check up on me this time I was missing in action, thank you so much. I can officially call myself an American now and have a passport!! I was so excited when they finally approved my getting Roger's Social Sec and let me change my name officially that I stopped on the way home by Roger's grave and sat talking to him. His biggest fear since 9-11 was that the bureaucratic nightmare at government agencies would become a serious mess for me. It was a serious mess for a while but in the end the wheels turned slowly and finally proved what we knew all along. I've been a citizen since 1951 through my mother's naturalization. Whew!!! I think I have finally gotten all the paperwork assiciated with Roger's death done with and can relax and take a deep breath.

Well, I'm off to set up the machine and get this baby quilt done as well as spending some of the day doing paperwork for the Pantry-financial paperwork for a change.

I've loved catching up with all the beautiful work you all have been turning out. Also the donation work turned out by several good friends. Stop by Debora's Design Studio(link on left) and see all the great work she's doing with donation quilts. Bumble Beans sent me a postcard yesterday to show the quilt that was made with donation blocks that some of us sent her for her "Bloggers, Friends & Family Signatures" quilt. Victoria's blog is on the left as well under Bumble Beans. Mad Talents all around.

Back Monday.


Gerrie said...

What a beautiful post. You are such a talented writer - I mean it!! I knew you would get to this place, eventually.

BTW - I love that baby quilt!!


Terri said...

So happy tyo read that everything turned out for you! As Gerrie said you are a talented writer. I think you should write a novel! At least write up some family stories that can then pass down to the next generations. That's what I wish my ancestors had done... but they probably couldn't read or write.
Love to see you are quilting again, and it is lovely!
I got a card from Victoria, too. Class act, that girl. I somehow have a lovely feeling of accomplishment for having shared a block with her. Mine is the blue butterfly on pink. Which block is yours?

Victoria @ BUMBLE BEANS said...

Thinking of you often... Glad the card made into your hands! thanks for your help and support!

Rian said...

You have such a way with words. Your descriptions are priceless. I'm so happy to hear that you are moving forward and finding your place in the Universe.

Dogs are such wonderful companions. Nice to have one once a week and you don't have that dog guilt you would have if you had one and had to leave it home all day.

Suzan said...

Thank goodness you are BACK! So happy to read that you are adjusting and feel like being creative. You are remarkable. I floundered for a much longer period after my world was turned upside down. You are a shining example for anyone who has had live throw them a curve ball...and then some!

Debra Spincic said...

Thank goodness you are back! I have missed you. Please stay and chat some more.

It sounds like you are making some serious headway in claiming your life. I knew you could do it! Way to Go!


Michele Bilyeu said...

Sometimes we have to walk through the darkness in the jungle finding our own path before we can ever find out how to use it and where to go with it. You are on it and doing it, Dee. Spot on and hallelujah! I knew you would. And how and Roger are now one. ..ok so,it 's only a bunch of numbers on a little piece of paper, but it was his and not are one prime number combined. That's how old computers were invented you know...numbers on paper. You have computed to a good place, you are social and now you have security. Good going to my dear friend. And yes, I was worrying, but I let you find the path and you did/are/will continue to. hugs hugs hugs

Libby said...

It is SO wonderful to see you emerging from the darkness of the past months. Even more delightful to hear that your legal troubles have been resolved. What fun to watch as you strike out on the new path that life has taken you to. Like of life's paths, it will most likely have some bumps . . . just remember to through your arms in the air and yell *wheeee*